Me, Interrupted
by Nara Merald
Summary: X When Otogi's life becomes a downward spiral, he's trapped in an Asylum because he can't shake the guilt of being able to breathe. Imagine his mis fortune when he finds Marik, Bakura and Seto inside... O x B x M x S. YUGIOH x GUNDAM WING
1. And all that could have been

**Me, Interrupted**

**Summary: **Otogi ends up in a mental hospital due to certain 'problems' and meets a few people he already knows.

And here I am, in a hospital, a mental hospital. Just for a short stay. Apparently normal people don't attempt suicide. I don't think what I did was so bad, you know. And yet here I am in crappy hospital clothes, trapped here with all the psychos.

My arms are nicely wrapped still in white bandages. The skin has already knitted together, and now all you can see are faintly pink lines. I like looking at them. I'm not allowed to touch them though. I'm not allowed to touch my own skin, my own body, and it annoys me. They don't have any power over me, fascist bastards.

Just the pills.

I am to share a room with some strangers; no one is in the room currently. I don't want to know more people. _Please, take this, and run far away, far as you can see_. I don't want to meet my room mates. Hoping I don't have one is as futile as trying to ignore their possessions, meagre as we're allowed.

Staring out the window, he comes in and stops, surprised. I turn around, surprised, though maybe I shouldn't be. Seto Kaiba, in a mental institution. He must be climbing the walls here.

"Ryuji Otogi. What are you in for?" He sees my arms, he just wants to make me say it out loud. _I am tainted, and Happiness, and peace of mind, were never meant for me_. I won't say it, because I won't let him near me, not near ME, not inside. They want to break me, mould me, turn me normal, but I'm not and I won't ever be! My silence isn't surprising to him, he just turns and walks back out the door, before re-entering with two others I know well, for both tried to take over the known world.

Bakura and Marik. Two psychos of their own brand. They stare at me a moment before laughing.

"Look Sseto, a nummmber cruncherrr forrr youuuu." Marik croons, licking his lips.

Bakura just gives me a look that I know well. He'd kill me right now if it would make him feel alive. _All these pieces, and promises, and left behinds, if only I could see_

I look down at my forearms, feel the bandages, reassure myself. I don't want to be here, and I don't want to be talking to them. I don't want to be back at my collapsed company, don't want to know anything about my stupid game and I don't want to do some other shitty job. I guess the problem lies therein, I don't know what I want.

Bakura comes and sits down on the end of my bed, Marik takes the end of Seto's. A pale arm moves as fingers dance lightly up my back. I feel it but ignore it. As I can read Bakura, so he can read me. Marik and Seto watch us, eyes narrowed, before Seto turns around and takes off his coat. Ahhh, my eyes silently understand. Seto is here so someone can teach him to eat again. A scowl, quickly revealed before being masked, shows me he knows that I know.

I look at Bakura, and he laughs maniacally because he sees my eyes are dead.

_In my nothing, you meant everything, everything to me_.

* * *

Sometimes I wonder if I dramatise my life too much, exaggerate things to get attention. I don't think I do- but the niggling fear is always there. 

Bakura and Marik are in here for being genuinely psycho, Bakura has trouble understanding why he shouldn't do things, as well as being a kleptomaniac and Marik has had a fair few hallucinations. Fantastic. Not to mention I remember them when I was with Yugi, strange, they call him Pharaoh. I wonder if its one of the hallucinations? They say he's two people. They're referring to him as 'Pharaoh' now. I see Seto's face twitch and realise he's laughing at their expense. Bakura growls, realising it too.

I sigh inwardly, as I notice Bakura's hand rummaging through my stuff.

"Bakura, why are you stealing my condoms?" I sighed.

"Why do you have condoms?" Seto asked, eyebrow raised.

"I didn't pack, Malik did for me." I replied, Marik nodding as if it all made sense. I wasn't exactly in a state to do anything. I have lingering… after-effects from the incident.

"Well, at least now we have a source of condoms and lube… gee Malik packed enough, depressing, isn't it, that he thinks you'll be here that long?" Bakura strokes a box of condoms with a glint in his eye.

Whatever.

He hisses, annoyed at my lack of caring and leans over, biting me on the neck. I welcome the sharp pain. It seems I'm somewhat of a masochist. When he lifts his head, his lips are slightly stained. He broke skin. I continue to stare calmly at him, knowing it's agitating him. Seto and Marik watch in amusement as they watch us. It seems Bakura has found a new toy to play with. Me. Marik makes his way over to join us, crawling on all fours. In a somewhat detached way, I think, it's sexy. When he doesn't look freakily insane, he looks hot. He reaches me, and licks my face mewling like a cat. Should I be worried? Seto laughs.

"He's been a bit unhinged since being separated from his Hikari. Although from all reports Malik isn't doing too well without him anyway." Seto commented, sitting on the other bed, like a king. King of what?

Bakura gets bored, and wanders off.

"Tea time Ryuji-pretty!" Marik grins and leaps nimbly off the bed. Seto gets up too, ignoring his coat. I am curious to know what happens to Seto, to watch Seto eat and he knows. But out here it's White, there's so much fucking white it makes me edgy. Everywhere it's white.

-FLASH-

"Don't you see? Every minute people die because pretty rich boys like you hoard your money. People like this, innocent people, die."

-FLASH-

* * *


	2. Wish

_Chapter 2- Wish_

-FLASH-  
"Don't you see? Every minute people die because pretty rich boys like you hoard your money. People like this, innocent people, die."  
-FLASH

"Otogi?" Seto asks, a knowing grin. Even in here he must have heard, it was big news although we tried to keep it hushed at the time. Ever since then I don't like the colour white, although to be honest, I never did.

White.

-FLASH-  
Red.  
-FLASH-

"I'm fine." I reply, though I'm falling apart and its hard to hold it together, like this. And just like that, Seto found my weakness, though I doubt he knows what triggers it. We don't like each other, Seto and I. We're too familiar, too near-equal, too understanding, He, he caused my suicide attempt and I caused him to nearly starve himself to death. We are both representatives of the uncaring, rigidly demanding business world. Funny how things turn out, ne?

We sit down. The food looks like crap. Mashed potatoes. Limp beans. Yay. I poke half heartedly at mine, knowing the nurses are watching me. I'm new, new and therefore unpredictable. Of course, it comforts me somewhat to remember they're watching Seto too. That must be incredibly annoying. Of course, chances are, spending time in close contact with Bakura and Marik probably aren't helping his sanity any. I guess now I can just resign myself to staying in here forever then. Wonder if I can get them to order pizza? I have enough money after all, oh wait. I'm still technically rich though with a third of my money now, since I paid all the workers off well. Did I mention my stock fell a fair way?

I'm still rattled by the white walls though in here its better, the chairs are different colours. An ugly brown. A comfortable, safe brown.

While the nurses aren't looking, Bakura pockets a fork. I have to refrain from laughing. One of the nurses smiles at me and asks why I'm not eating. I coldly and deliberately put a limp, cold bean in my mouth and chew determinedly, not taking my eyes off of her. Completely unsmiling. I don't like her, and I don't like people prying. I can practically taste Bakura, Marik and Seto's surprise at my display of cold anger. I'm filled with it really, cold burning rage. All I've shown them is a lack of care. So what. The girl becomes bossy.

"You need to eat more than that Ryuji!" ignoring her, I get up and walk to the toilet, a man following me. I ignore him completely, before being back into the white corridor. I freeze, turning to focus on the man, who says nothing.

"What's your name?" I ask him casually, curious. My mood has shifted again.  
"Lars." He replies.  
"And why are you following me, Lars?" I ask mildly, arms folded.  
"You know why." He says.  
"Well, how about I make you a deal?" I say.  
He shakes his head.  
"I'm not stupid Lars. I'm not planning some stupid escape. Hear me out." I lecture him sternly. For some reason I think I like him. Head up, he regards me calmly.  
"I will eat whatever crap you put out, as long as I can stomach it. I will help my body heal, put no stress on it. I wont injure it. I wont fight with other …patients. I'll be quiet. But I want something in return." I say.  
"What?" Lars asks impassively.

"Apart from counselling shit or whatever that is, I want private time, or as much as I can get. I don't want people following me as if I'm going to snap." I said, watching as he weighed up the decision.

"I'll see what I can do." He said, waiting for me. Waiting to follow me. In the end I just went back to my room lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Nothing better to do.


	3. Hurt

**Chapter 3- Hurt**

In case you havent realised, I don't lkike to talk about that day. Therapists couldn't get through to me about it either. Pity that.

Bakura is studying me again, playing with Seto's hair. It seems to relax Seto. Marik's doing something weird with his pills again, from watching I know he gets two white pills and a yellow pill per day. He takes one white pill, flushes the yellow one down the sink and keeps the other white pill. He says one helps him, two make him sleepy and dull and the yellow pill makes him feel bad. Exactly what 'bad' is, I have no idea. Bakura and Seto make no move to stop him. Bored, I inquire about Marik's hallucinations.

"Visions!" Marik insists, and I pity him for it. Seto notices and gives me a look I cannot decipher, but stays silent.

"I'll show you." Marik reaches for my hand, and I let him take it.

"Why don't you like the hallway Ryuji?" he asks softly.

-FLASH-

"How many times did I ask you for funding Otogi? How many times did you sit in your pristine, white-fucking-tower and decline?"

"Look it's not thatn simple-"

"Not that simple? How many people are dying now, because you wouldn't help me? HOW MANY!"

"I don't know."

"I do. Do you like seeing people suffer? Would you like your vice president to suffer!"

"Don't do this…"

"Too late."

_BANG_

-FLASH-

Marik was shaking as his eyes met mine again. No, it wasn't possible he'd seen that.

-FLASH-

Red splattered the white room, dripping down the walls. The floor was a macabre horror scene, bodies and stray limbs everywhere.

-FLASH-

Marik was scared, breathing heavily like he'd run a marathon, but I was calm, calm and dead. And still Seto and Bakura watched, silently.

I really think therapy is a waste of time. I'm wedged in between Bakura and Seto, in cheaply padded chairs. Marik hasn't said a word to me yet.

We go through all the "welcome our new patient" crap and then she turns to me. I dislike her instantly. I generally don't trust women- sue me, my mother abandoned me as a child, selfish bitch. Besides, those eyebrows are insane. In-fucking-sane. They almost mesmerise me for a minute.

"And why are you here, Ryuji?" I know exactly what to say, I have it parroted down.

"I'm here because I had a breakdown and tried to commit suicide after suffering from post traumatic stress." I utter calmly. Eyebrows (as I will now call her) looks disappointed but doesn't press this. She has all the time she needs to leisurely break me down. Meanwhile, she's convinced Bakura steals to prove his worth, out of a deep feeling of inadequacy. Somehow, I don't think so. I can feel the vibrations as Seto holds back laughter, but amazingly, nothing shows on his face. I'd do well to learn from him. He reminds me of ice, cold, untouchable.

"What do you see food as, Seto?" Eyebrows asks, and something in her eyes seems predatory to me. I think she likes him, as much as he likes her. He hates her, by the way.

I make a decision and throw myself in the deep end.

"Pineapple reminds him of Mokuba's hair." I quip, and Marik snorts as Eyebrows' eyes narrow at me. Seto turns and again sizes me up, assuring himself that I wasn't making fun of Mokuba, and suddenly I'm no longer an enemy but an ally. I wonder absently how Mokuba feels, with Seto in here.

"Of course, you and Seto know each other Ryuji, have you talked about the incident?" Eyebrows asks calmly. Bakura's attention is caught again, and Marik tenses, almost imperceptively. I find myself wondering if I believe he saw what I remember. It worries me that I think I do.

"No." Seto answers shortly, ignoring me spacing out.

"What colour does it remind you of, Ryuji?" she asks one of those supposed-to-be-random questions.

_White_.

"Red." I say, knowing I have to answer, but I'm damned if I'm telling her the truth. Marik shudders.

"And why is that?" Her face shows naked anticipation, she like all the others, thinks I am going to say BLOOD.

This is going to be so, so good.

"Because I had these fantastic red cushions… but when the company collapsed, the stocks fell and everything got sold off… including my cushions." I said, faking the most innocently disappointed face I could. Seto snorts and Bakura laughs outright, breaking the tension as some of the other's laugh too, especially a brunette with such a long braid that I'd actually mistaken him for a girl. His name was Dua or something.

"I will see you after this session, Ryuji." Eyebrows says sternly.

Me? I just hope that no one noticed my subsituation of 'collapsed' for 'was brutally butchered'.

**Author's Note:**

Very sorry for the mass delay! This story is normally kept on another computer, and unfortunately I am at the mercy of my sister USB wise to transfer to a net capable comp :(

There is a HUGE point I need to make before chapter 4- You will notice hints of it in this chapter… on a whim, I decided to make this a crossover. So this is now Yu-Gi-Oh x Gundam Wing, and the Gundam Wing-ers are introduced in the next chapter. Hopefully you guys don't mind! It will probably remain mainly Otogi x Bakura x Seto x Marik however.

Please review… if I get 3 or more reviews I'll post chapter 4 early :D

xoxo


	4. The Hand that Feeds

**Chapter 4** – **The Hand that feeds**

I met someone else yesterday. Relena Darlian. She is delusional. Hey, if I was in here, I'd pretend to be somewhere else too! Wait… I am in here. Damn. Can I be a princess too?  
Apparently not, Princess Relena informed me. You have to be born one, and my non royal parents simply don't qualify. Plus, this is her territory. She did however, offer me some hot chocolate.

Since I met (and had 'tea') with Relena, I have noticed a few more people. There's Noin, who is a rape victim turned murderess who got off with a plea of insanity. She's not insane, but really, can you blame her?

Hilde is paranoid. Marik steers clear of her, he doesn't like touching her, and he's jumpy for hours after, if he does. And the rest of the people know, is three more guys. Duo Maxwell, a nymphomaniac. No seriously, he feels vulnerable if he doesn't have sex, the longer he goes without, the more messed up he gets. He's got purple, no amethyst, eyes just like Yugi Motou, and a long braid of chocolate hair.

Trowa someone or another… has a weird hairstyle, not that I can talk, having hung around with Yugi and Atemu for however long I've known both. All of his hair hands over one of his eyes, it's kind of creepy. But his eyes themselves… emerald. Like mine. The parallels are a little disturbing now I think about it.

He's in here for rape too, like Noin. Clinically antisocial, with chronic agoraphobia and a fear of crowds. Messed up. The last is Wufei Chang, some Chinese dude. Sleek black hair, black eyes, vendetta against women not to mention obsessive-compulsive. Princess Relena hauled him into her 'court' and held a trial against him with Noin and Hilde holding him down (Noin's got some rage issues).

Bakura even gave evidence against him. Chang swore revenge on him then went to wash his hands 21 times.

I'd say this place is like a madhouse, but then again, it IS a madhouse. Funny that.

* * *

Counselling again today. Private this time, with someone called Dr Sally. She strikes me as a nice person. 

"So Ryuji, what do you want to talk about?" she smiles, and there's no malice in it.  
"I get to choose?" I must admit, I'm surprised. She smiles again, nodding.  
I think for a minute.

"I don't like Eyebrows." I mutter.  
"You… don't like eyebrows?" She looks confused.  
"Dr. C. I call her 'eyebrows' sometimes." I inform her. For a split second, she can't conceal her amusement, then it's all professional again.  
"Why don't you like Dr. Catalonia?" she questions, intrigued.  
"She's not like you. If she spots a weakness, she will attack, not coax." I explain, before I can stop myself.  
Dr. S looks thoughtful, but doesn't deny my accusation in any way.

"Do you tell her what I tell you?" I ask, wanting very much to know the answer. For some reason, against all odds, I trust Sally. Dumb, butI do.  
"We share notes, does that bother you?" she asked.  
"If I told you something in confidence, told you I did not want her to know, would you tell her? Please be honest." I said earnestly. She paused, letting the implications sink in.  
"If I thought it wouldn't harm you or anyone else, I could keep silence." She agreed.  
The rest of the session went well, with no mention of white, companies, or anything beyond the mundane, and childhood. That I could handle.

* * *

Another session with Dr. S. She asked me about tea with 'princess' Relena. I speak honestly. It's weird in here, but you get the feeling of a blanket of safety.  
"It's like being a child again." I muse, and I see her eyes light with interest.  
"Why do you say that?" she asks, pen at the ready, almost quivering.  
"Well if you understand the reason you're here, it's easy to see the parallels. Having said that, it's also easy to lose yourself in the illusion. When ever something on television is scary, you will turn off the television for us, like a parent. Our in-patients play various games, normally children's games with a sophisticated twist." I explain, my mind wandering curiously along it's lengths. 

"So in here… in here is safe for you?" Dr. S asks curiously.  
"In your office yes. While the illusion is maintained outside, yes. When I can be a boy in Princess Relena's kingdom, yes. When I am Ryuji Otogi in Dr. C's sessions, no." I say, after a little thought.  
Dr. S. nods.  
"What do you think of the others?" she asks with a hidden grin.  
"I thought- Dua?" I pause for confirmation at that point.  
"Duo." Dr. S. smiles.  
"I thought Duo was a girl at first, with the braid. I was a little taken aback to find out he was a Nympho, honestly. But Bakura and Marik like him. I think Seto does too, although like Chang, says he finds him annoying." I recall with a smile. Seto's a big cuddly bear, deep down. Not.

"And Bakura, Marik and Seto's opinions matter to you?" Dr. S. catches on quickly. If I'm honest with myself…  
"Yes. I knew them once when we were saving the world from the Great Leviathan. If you don't know about that, I'm really gonna sound like a crack pot now." I finish, a little disturbed at that prospect.  
"If you are referring to the escaped Duel Monsters incidents, then yes I believe you. I myself was held up by a rampage of a dragonish looking thing. I don't know what it is, I've never been a Duel Monsters person, myself." Dr. S. smiles again, and I can just feel the relief melting.  
"Wow, Am I lucky!" I grin… then the grin slides of my face.

"…or really, really unlucky." I finish, sombrely  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Dr. S asks, and for someone I met only recently, I feel I can trust her completely.

-FLASH-

"Look Otogi, look at your secretary. She hasn't done anything wrong. She wishes she'd never even heard of you, let alone worked for you. She wishes she hadn't come in today."  
"… please… I'll give you anything you want… don't hurt anyone else… all my money-"  
"You think money is enough now? It's too late. They're dead. They're all DEAD!"  
**BANG  
**"AHHHHHH! Oh god it HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHH…."  
-FLASH-

"I don't think I can yet. But I will." I say, and walk back into the hallway, focus firmly on the floor pattern. "There are no white walls" has become a mantra of sorts for me lately. Great.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

There you go... hope you like the G people. It will still be centered around Seto, Bakura, Otogi and Marik however... You know the drill, any ideas... review!  
It's my birthday... review as a present... nowI feel guilty for guilt tripping you guys.  
xoxo


	5. Mr Self Destruct

**Chapter 5- Mr Self Destruct**

When I wake up this morning, it feels hard to breathe and I think for a moment that I'm dreaming. Sometimes I dream I'm trying to wake, and I can't move…  
When I open my eyes, I see it's not the case. Bakura is sitting on my chest, twirling his white hair around absent mindedly.  
"You're awake." Marik grinned.  
"Glad you noticed." I attempt a dry tone, but I'm not getting that much air so it sounds rather breathy.  
"Oh come on Bakura, it's not fair if you're the only one in here getting some." Duo grins from the doorway.  
"Duo!" Marik practically leaps on him, as Bakura taps my nose to gain my attention.  
"Get…. Off… Can't…. Breathe!" I gasp. Bakura smiles and stays where he is.

"Bakura." Seto commands, and Bakura looks at him, pouting. I really am gasping for air now, and I'm not sure why. At one point, all I really wanted was to die. But stopping breathing is more annoying than you'd think. Bakura rolls off me in a fluid motion and the sudden rush of air makes me see white spots in my vision. I sit up, feeling somewhat disconnected. The past few days lolled me into something that wasn't there, didn't exist. It's time I realised there is no place for my happiness.

Seto is studying me once more. I meet his eyes coldly. Marik turns to me, brow furrowed.  
"Ryuji pretty?" he asks unsurely.  
"Marik." I state.  
"You broke him Bakura." Marik whines.  
"He didn't break me. He can't." I hiss, both in anger and triumph.  
"Want to bet?" Bakura's eyes narrow at me, assessing me.  
"Do I need to get Doc S?" Duo asks from the doorway, concerned.  
"Why don't you mind your business, Nymph boy. Better yet, go fuck Bakura. Here's a condom." Even knowing it's cruel, I can't stop myself as I toss one to him. Duo looks at me and I see his pain, and for a minute I feel like crying because of what I did to him. I brush past him, unable to face the others. I feel awful, but I won't apologise. Not yet.

* * *

"What did you do to Maxwell?" Chang asks.  
"Why?" I glare at him.  
"He's been in with Po for four hours now, and Marik and Relena are crying." Chang stares at me, knowing full well who caused it.

-FLASH-

"_You see Otogi, people like you only care about themselves. They want money, they want sex, they want to stay young forever.  
_"_I'm not like that!"  
_"_Aren't you? I see money. I see your whores hanging off you at every public appearance. You're still young. You are a shadow of a person, shallow, evil. You care only about yourself."_

-FLASH-

I shudder. Go to the bathroom. Look myself in. I want my fucking eyeliner. I want my FUCKING EYELINER. I want out of here. Finally, I succumb, and just rest my head against the toilet door and cry silently. I didn't want to be like this. I'm not… I wasn't someone who liked to hurt people. I don't want to be that person, I don't want to be **me**.

I just have this urge for something fucking sharp. Just to cut a little. I go on a hunt. After ensuring the coast is clear, I sneak back into our room and look through Bakura's stolen possessions. The nail could suffice, but I don't really want tetanus. Then I see it, a pocket knife. Where did Bakura get that!

I remember where I am, and so I know I'm not going to bother to attempt suicide. Besides, I want to keep the knife. I like it. Fuck Bakura, it's mine now, forever and ever, my new best friend. I giggle, and even to my other senses, it sounds wrong. I sound crazy. Great.

What to design? Inspiration strikes me, and I remember the morning tea at Princess Relena's. Her court wise woman and magician Hilde, is into runes. I think I even remember the rune for strength, Uruz. Perfect. I take the knife and carve the symbol, then the word on my left thigh, before showing a crappy patch over both. The patch isn't quite big enough to cover, but I don't really give a fuck. Instead I wander out into the garden, simply sitting and staring as time stretches on.

Eventually, there's a presence beside me, silent. She can't stay silent infinitely though, and speaks up.

"You made another patient feel insecure Ryuji." Eyebrows smiles nastily at me. I hate her. I have no words for her, and simply ignore her completely, despite her efforts to make me respond. I don't like her. I don't have anyone to be responsible for but the Ghosts now, so I'm fucked if I'm going to put up with other people's shit anymore.

I'd laugh if she died right now, I'd laugh if I died right now. I'm still laughing quietly to myself when the needle enters my arm.


	6. Even Deeper

**Chapter 6: Even Deeper**

-FLASH-

I'm back in the office, trapped in that horrible sensation of helplessness, and I know what's going to happen, and it's going to be awful.

_I didn't even notice him enter_.

"Everyone on your knees, hands in the air!" He yelled, waving a gun around. It looked so much more sinister in real life.

"What's going on?" Grace cried in horror.

**BANG!**

_He shot her, gods, he killed her!_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and the chaos descended like that.

"You killed her!" There was so much chaos, so much panic.

"SILENCE!" he screamed, and fired a round into the roof. Everyone shut up.

"You… yes you, get up." He pointed to a new girl, a young one. I didn't know her name.

"P…pl…please … d…don't… kill m..me!" Tears of fear rolled down her face.

"I won't," he grinned, and I saw the echo of insanity in it, "-you're going to be the lucky one. You're going to go outside, and tell them if they send anyone, anywhere close, I'll shoot the hostages one by one until they leave."

-FLASH-

I woke up, gasping and disorientated, with the strangest sensation of being unreal. I half wondered whether I was dead, before the aching, fuzzy feeling kicked in properly. The bitch eyebrows had drugged me! By the time I was allowed out, I had a deep hatred for eyebrows, a deep remorse for what I'd done to Duo… and the feeling that my soul was being torn apart, and it wasn't altogether an unenjoyable feeling. It was like I was sinking even deeper into nothing.

I was 'escorted' to Dr S' office.

"Ryuji." Dr S acknowledged, and I shuddered, remembering my dream.

"Call me Otogi, please." I said huskily, annoyed to hear the plea in my voice. Dr S looked unnervingly into my eyes, as if she could read everything about me, before deciding not to question me about the name.

"Why don't you tell me what happened with Duo?" Dr S invited, emotions hidden.

"I screwed up." I admitted. Dr S looked at me. _Even Deeper_, she seemed to say.

"He… invited himself into something I was unhappy about, and I lashed out." I muttered, feeling like a heel. She stayed silent.

"I wanted him to hurt like I was. I was cruel." I continued, loathing myself more with every realisation.

"What happened with Dr Catalonia?" Dr S asked.

"I hate her!" I spat savagely, surprising both of us.

"I'll never tell her anything about it." I finished, a little more calmly.

"It?" Dr S clarified.

"Haven't you heard about not naming your fears?" I laughed hollowly, watching her eye me as if I was something wild and dangerous.

"To give them a name is to give them a foothold in your world… like the monster hiding under your bed." I elaborated, seeing her nodding to herself.

"Did you have a monster under your bed?" Dr S asks, her busy pen pausing.

"Yes… but the monster is inside me this time." I look her in the eye, and she leans back, considering me again.

Before I left, Dr S stopped me at the door.

"Are you going to apologise to Duo?" she asked, and I answered truthfully.

"I will try."

* * *

I found Duo in Relena's Kingdom, joking and playing the fool. When he saw me, he froze, the only moment he let the mask drop. 

"What do _you_ want?" Relena asked coldly, glaring at me.

"To talk to Duo." I replied. Noin's eyes narrowed as Duo walked warily over to me. Relena started to say something, most likely something about how much of an asshole I was, but Duo held up a hand and joined me.

"Let's walk." I suggested, and feeling their eyes burning holes into my back, I led him towards the garden in silence.

When we got there, I sat, Duo following my lead.

"I'm sorry." The words lay heavy on the air, and I wasn't brave enough to look at Duo's face.

"It's ok." Duo's joker mask was back on. I owed him more than that.

"No it's not. I was being cruel." I met his eyes in seriousness, seeing that he understood me.

"I hated you then; for being happy, for trying to make your life work." I admitted, looking away again.

"I know." Duo said quietly.

"What happened to you?" I asked before I could stop myself. Duo, not unreasonably, looked at me warily.

"Sorry, ignore that." I said uncomfortably, mentally kicking myself.

"My parents were drug addicts. I was an accident; born addicted to drugs. I was put on a program at birth to wean me off of them, and my parents couldn't take care of me. My mum died when I was one, my dad skipped out and a neighbour found me. I was hospitalised for a month. After that I bounced through foster homes that were too short of funding, too needing themselves to be able to properly provide for kids. And then… then I had sex, and for that time, I was with someone so intensely that they couldn't distance themselves from me, couldn't run because we were joined together." Duo revealed.

I pitied him, because I'd had such a good life. I was sure this revelation barely touched on the horrors he concealed.

"I had everything. I was content with life, because I was doing something I loved- I could take pride in it. I was never as good as Kaiba, but I understood my life, my employees. I figured love would come later, and I was content." I didn't even know what I was saying, but dimly I realised I'd caught Duo's attention.

"And then he came. At the time, I had no idea what was going to happen when I signed the cheque. I signed the death warrants of five people. Five people who came in and trusted in me. I killed them." I paused, hearing Duo's breath drawn in.

"He shot them because of me. Because of me, the white hallway was painted in blood. It was everywhere. They had to repaint the walls. I can still smell it. And it was all my fault." I gave a little laugh.

Duo didn't say something stupid like pretend it wasn't my fault. Silence fell for a moment.

"I won't tell." Duo stood, looking out across the gardens.

"Neither will I. Thankyou." I replied softly, promised, and he left me on the lawn, remembering.

That's the thing about happiness; it never lasts.

_Look deeper, even deeper.  
__And if I don't like what I see…?  
__It's too late to take it back._


	7. Suck

**Chapter 7:** Suck

Marik, Seto and Bakura stare at me as I walk back into the room, and I ignore them, instead grabbing a pen and pausing as I stare down at my pristine paper. My pristine _white_ paper.

"That was quite some breakdown." Seto says nonchalantly, waiting for a reaction.

I start tracing circles on my paper, watching as the swirls of black ink flit around, beginning to purify the tainted white.

"Is Otogi-kun ok?" Marik asks seriously. I just smile, and it makes Marik attain a sad look. I don't even feel bad that I made him sad, because it's all wrong and I deserve this hell.

That night, I dream… differently.

_Blood splashes me. An endless river of blood that rushes down my throat as I hear the screams of the dying, and I'm drowning because I can't draw a breath. The panic makes me claw at my own throat, the coppery taste of blood overwhelming as I hear his voice uttering the words he never said. "They all blame you Ryuji, they all wish you were DEAD!" _

I wake up gasping and turn on the bedside light for a moment.

Bakura is staring at me and weaves his way over to my bed.

"Nightmares. You have a lot of them." Bakura mentions nonchalantly, arms reaching to my shoulders.

"Lay down." He commands, and I do, because I don't care about anything right now. He could stab me, fuck me, cry all over me… and I think I'd just sit there. Except for Duo… I owe Duo. I have a debt to pay to Duo.

He turns off the annoying light starts giving me a massage, and it's almost relaxing in the dark, except that it's harsh and he is deliberately pressing hard. Soon I get used to the movements which range from my back and shoulders and stroke my sides.

"Turn over." Bakura commands, and I do. I didn't think people gave massages on the chest, it would certainly be awkward for girls and…

I certainly don't think most masseuses suck on their clients nipples quite like that. I gasp, and hear Bakura laugh. His hands brush at my thighs and begin bringing my boxers down with them. For one moment I wonder if this is right, then realise I abandoned 'right' and 'wrong' long ago. Could this damage me? Yes. I'm sure I'd deserve it though.

Not a sound. I'm not quite sure why, but for this moment, it's important that I don't make a sound. I don't make a sound when his hands trail down my thighs. I don't make a sound when I feel his hot breath, in, out, in, out. My nails, which haven't had their fortnightly cut yet, find my arms as his mouth touches me, and they dig in deeper and deeper as his hot, wet mouth slides downwards. I see him look at me, assessing me, and then he moves.

Up and down, it sends my mind into a whirl of thoughts. Bakura, how I first met him. I'd been so pure, so carefree so naïve. Poor little dead Otogi. Because I was dead now; dead to me, dead to them. My breathing got heavier as Bakura's mouth kept me between heaven and hell. Duo Maxwell, addicted to sex… was this what I was doing? Am I trying to wash the pain away with pleasure? Even now, with Bakura's teeth scraping against me slightly, I cannot forget the pain, not even now. His hands wind their way over my hipbones, tracing little patterns as he hums slightly and against my will, my back arches. I think he's laughing, but the sensations are a little distracting. My nails dig in as the sensations build almost to a painful point and I want release so fucking badly, and he pauses, lifting his lips off of me.

I wait silently.

"Could you kill someone right now?" Bakura asks, licking his lips. It's an incredibly sensual movement, and for a moment, I almost see his lips covered in blood before I blink and the hallicination ends. I thought about my answer, and responded truthfully.

"I don't know." I said quietly, my voice hoarse, and I bite my lip as he bends down again, his mouth bringing me painful release, temporarily making my vision white. I shuddered, grabbing on to his head as he studies me again, pulling me to sit up, before kissing me. I can taste myself on his tongue.

"Can you make me forget?" I ask Bakura, nose to nose with him, staring into his eyes. Duo would love this closeness. Bakura tilts his head.

"I don't know. Can I?" Bakura turns the question back to me, raking his nails down my back slightly and making me shiver.

"No." I breathe out, feeling the ever-present guilt re-settle itself on my shoulders, as Bakura pushes me back down and we lie together, falling asleep to two heartbeats instead of one.

* * *

For some reason, I wake again at about 5am, and as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I sit up for a moment, seeing Marik standing by the window. The curtains are open and there's a storm. Amidst the rain, I see the lightening flash, jagged white-purple bolts lighting up the sky; more beautiful and ethereal than fireworks could ever be. 

Marik sighs for a moment, before raising his hand to the window. A flash lights up the sky, silhouetting his profile as he turns to me, apparently realising I'd awoken.

"Marik?" I question softly, wondering if he was missing Malik.

"Malik-hikari is coming." Marik looks resigned, but unhappy about it.

"What?" I ask, confused. He looks to me again, but all he says, is "Look at the sky, Ryuji."

"The clouds are crying."


	8. The Collector

**Chapter 8: The Collector**

When I wake again, Bakura is still lying on top of me, and I'm still naked. Bakura is awake; at a guess I think he is staying with me deliberately so the others will know or wonder about last night. I don't care. If he was trying to provoke a reaction from me, he loses. But something has changed again; I feel again, but distantly. I care… but with effort. I have to go find Duo. I have to make it up to him somehow. Twisting a white lock of his hair in my fingers, I sit for a while, uncaring that I'm still naked.

"Had we known Sex would cure you, we would have tried it sooner." Seto comments, watching me. He and Marik are both dressed already. The amusing thing about my roommates is that they both care and don't care about me. Even if Bakura had known he would fuck me up (both literally and mentally), he'd have still sucked me off last night. Making a comment like Seto's could be hugely detrimental to me, yet he made it nonetheless. At least they didn't dance around me… for that is not what the real world is like.

"Walk with me, Seto." I ask on a whim, because whims seem to be what I have to work with now. Getting dressed, I pull on a pair of sweatpants and baggy top.

"We're not allowed?" Marik glances at Bakura, before pouting to me. I don't think I could ever get tired of Marik. He seems to have three different personalities; genuinely darkly crazy and a match for Bakura if there ever was one, abnormally perceptive Marik who is generally serious and child-like Marik who says the most curious things.

"I didn't say you weren't allowed." I glanced at him mildly.

"Stay here Marik. I want Sex… on Otogi's bed with Otogi's condoms." Bakura amuses himself by rubbing himself against my pillow. Note to self: Swap pillows with someone. Marik grins and walks straight to my bag, going through it for the condoms and snatching one with glee.

As Seto and I stare, Marik throws off his shirt, pants (it seems he goes commando) and reaches straight for Bakura. I thought they'd wait for us to leave; I was wrong.

"Come on, if you wanted to talk, we might as well go before we're distracted." Seto pulls me out of the room as I hear a deep moan from Bakura, still on my bed.

As soon as we're out on the grounds, I ask without preamble "Why don't you eat Seto?"

He looks at me, something flickering in his eyes and throws it back at me. "Why did you try and commit suicide, Otogi?"

It was in the papers; he knows exactly what caused me to drive the knife into my skin again and again, watching the droplets of red stain the new, white carpet that I'd ordered specifically for this purpose. But still I cannot voice it, and we both remain silent.

"Was that all you called me out here for, Otogi?" Seto asked, fingers caressing a flower gently, before they closed on it too tightly and crushed it.

"Do you love Marik?" I asked, head cocked to the side, surprising myself and Seto with the question, I honestly had no idea those words would come out of my mouth.

"Maybe." Seto glanced down at the destroyed flower in his hand, taking it with him when he stood and walked away from me.

I looked at where the flower had been, wondering dully whether somewhere, someone had felt the loss of that flower. Was there really a 'Mother Earth'? At times like this; when the sun is gently shining and the trees wave in the breeze, I'm inclined to disbelieve it. It's when the sun burns harshly and the storms wreck the coastlines that I feel she exists. I can picture her, standing alone on a rock, feeling the injured world stretch out around her as we brutally begin to murder it.

I can see her face twisting around in horror, as she brings her hand to the sky and demands justice, as the waves rise and the boaters panic, the clouds shutter out the sun and our judgement is nigh. I never did get to recycle as much as I would have liked.

* * *

"You seem to be in better spirits today, Ry- Otogi." Dr. S smiles, remembering just in time to call me Otogi.

"That's not hard." I mutter dryly, well aware that I was in major meltdown mode last time we talked. Eyebrows even sedated me.

"Did you resolve your conflict with Duo?" Dr. S looks me in the eyes and I don't flinch.

"I apologised. He forgave me. I have yet to make it up to him." I answered truthfully.

Dr. S smiles sadly with a sigh.

"Otogi… he forgave you. Knowing Duo, that's as far as it needs to go." Dr. S explained.

"That is the kind of person Duo is. But the kind of person I am tells me I owe him for the hurt I caused, even if Duo won't acknowledge that debt." I reply, reminded unpleasantly of other debts.

"Debts seem to be a big thing to you Otogi." Dr. S zeroes in on the word.

"I have a lot of them. When I owned a company, it was different." I tell her.

"And now?" Dr. S asks.

"One honour debt to Duo. My other debts were paid in Blood." I answer softly, and Dr. S is perceptive enough not to go there, our session comes to an end.

"…Thankyou Dr. S." I mumble before I leave, and I think I see her hide a smile.

When we I get back to the room, Marik is asleep, Seto has a conspicuous purple love bite on his neck and Bakura is looking rather pleased with himself. As Seto goes to take a shower, I decide he's going to be my victim, and burrow into his bed to sleep, leaving him my bed, which has several suspicious stains on it, none of which I want to know about.

I'm still awake though I feign sleep when Seto returns to view the scene of the crime with a soft growl of displeasure.

"It seems Otogi didn't want to sleep in his own bed." Bakura remarked nonchalantly from across the room.

"I don't blame him, I don't want to sleep in his bed either." Seto raised an eyebrow, before finally dropping the towel and pulling on a pair of boxer shorts, not before I see the love bite on his thigh. Then Seto gives me another disapproving stare before shoving me over a little and hopping in beside me.

It surprises me, but doesn't bother me, and that night I feel another person breathing, reminding me that they are still alive and that's one less person to whom I owe a debt.


	9. Complications of the Flesh

**Me, Interrupted**

**Chapter Nine: Complications of the Flesh**

I wake up with my arms around Seto. I know in the movies and stories, you're supposed to wake up with their arms around you, but I woke up hugging him like I'd never let him go. He simply smirked at me. Loosening my arms a little, I gave a little I-don't give-a-fuck shrug and pinned him down, hugging him so I could sleep once more.

"What am I Otogi, your personal teddy bear?" Seto asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Shut up and take it like the bitch you are, Kaiba." Bakura mumbles sleepily from another bed as Marik giggles.

I make a half-hearted mumble and go back to sleep. When I wake again, I see Seto has managed to pry me off, and I'm hugging a pillow.

"You and Kaiba look pretty hot together, but you and Bakura look fucking sexy." Marik mumbles, wiping his blonde hair out of his eyes and looking generally dishevelled. He's in Bakura-match mode, not the curious childlike Marik or Serious random Marik.

"I see." I mumble, and splash my face with water.

"Come on, you don't want to be late, visiting hours are today." Marik drags me out, pushes me into the doorway and smacks me on the ass.

"Get out there." Marik grinned and shut the door in my face.

"What about you?" I called. No answer. A little confused, I wandered around to the breakfast table where I saw Relena, who hissed at me. Noin glared. Duo however took no notice of their cold reception and slung an arm round my shoulder.

"Whatcha upto buddy?" Duo said through a mouthful of toast.

"Nothing much, wondering why everyone is so worked up." I admitted in confusion.

"Today is visiting day!" Duo declared, reaching for more toast.

"Oh." I muttered, disappointed. I doubted anyone would be visiting me. Yugi and Atemu were good people, but could not comprehend what would drive me to the brink, Anzu got nearly hysterical every time she saw me… I'd never been _that_ close to any of them anyway.

"Where's Marik?" Bakura asked me, and I shrugged.

"Strange, he's always here for Malik's visit." Seto paused at the oddity before we were distracted by the appearance of an orderly.

"Seto Kaiba, Relena Darlian, Robert McIntosh, Wufei Chang, Ryuji Otogi, Bakura… Bakura, you have visitors." The orderly announced, stumbling over a lack of a last name for Bakura. I was still wondering who the hell would be visiting me, and continued wondering until I was lead to a small room where an elder lady was sitting. She rose to greet me, and for the life of me, I had not a clue where I was supposed to know her from.

"Ryuji Otogi." She smiled, shaking my hand.

"I'm sorry, Mrs…" I began uncertainly.

"Deverall, Janine Deverall." The woman stared at me in pity I sucked in a breath and held it for a moment too long.

"I…I…" I stumbled over what to say.

"Relax Mr Otogi, I am not my daughter." Janine stared at her hands and my stricken mind could not comprehend what was going on.

"I wanted to apologise. What Jessica said to you that day… was not fair. My daughter had been through an emotionally horrific time, but she had no right to blame you." Janine looked me in the eyes and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do this!

-FLASH-

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! IF YOU'D JUST DONE WHAT HE WANTED, NO ONE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HURT! IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Jessica screamed at me, scratching my cheek with her sharp nails and crying, as people around us tried to pull her away and calm her down.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT! It's your fault… it's your… fault…." Jessica Deverall sobbed hysterically as I backed away, backed away and ran, my cheek stinging as a reminder.

-FLASH-

"Mr Otogi? I'm sorry, I know you've had a lot of difficulties, and you're a strong man. I wanted you to know… none of us blame you. She will understand that she was wrong…" Janine Deverall began, but with a choking noise, I backed out into the hallway. The white hallway.

"Mr. Otogi?"

_Run!  
_My mind stumbling in a hysterical heap, I tried to find Dr. S, but all I found was Dr. C.

"What is it Otogi?" Eyebrows grinned at me, immediately noting my panic.

"I want to speak to Dr. Sally!" I cried out, panting.

"I'm sorry, she's unavailable, you'll just have to come with me." She grins maliciously and I panic and run for Dr. S' office, hearing Dr. C calling for guards and instructing them to restrain me. I push through people, and see faces flashing past as I run, Seto's curious face, Wufei's solemn face, Duo's concerned face, Relena's distant face and Janine Deverall's distressed face. Finally I was banging on Dr. S' door, pounding on it in panic as the orderlies caught up to me. Just as the first one reached my arm to restrain me, the door opened and I fell inside, face first. Through a haze of burning pain in my nose, I heard yelling dimly and Dr. S' cool voice speaking. Then, a slim hand helped me up.

"Are you ok, Otogi?" Dr. S asked. I blinked in confusion, before it all came rushing back to me, Janine Deverall, Jessica Deverall…

"She told me I couldn't see you!" I cried a little hysterically.

"Dr. Catalonia did?" Dr. S asked calmly.

"Yes! I didn't want to talk to her but Janine…" I gasped for breath, pausing, then realised there was another person in the room.

"Ryuji Otogi, I'm sure you've met Trowa Barton before?" Dr. S offered, and Trowa nodded.

"Do you mind talking with Trowa here?" Dr. S asked shrewdly, and I could see the calculations running through her head.

"No." I replied honestly, shaking a little. I had no idea what she'd hit upon, but I could see from her posture it was something big.

"Do you mind listening Trowa? You're also welcome to speak at anytime." Dr. S offered, and Trowa replied "I don't mind…" quietly.

"Now why don't we start with who Janine was?" Dr. S began, and I take a deep breath, and finally decide to confide in her. It's only when I've finished blurting out horrifying visions of white corridors and Jessica screaming at me and him taking me to hell that I work out Trowa is looking at me intensely, and not in a "How traumatic" kind of way. I only notice this because now Janine is gone, the white hallways are gone and Dr. S is here and she _cares_.

"Err… have I got something on my face?" I ask him, not willing to touch and see for myself, because my nose still hurts and I think I got carpet burn on my face.

"Your nose is broken." Trowa informs us, and Dr. S yelps and runs over.

Broken nose, I think to myself… Better than white corridors.

* * *

**A/N:**  
Not entirely happy with this one... I get confused reading it because I can't remember what I was aiming for :( I was writing rather aimlessly after Janine came in... I'm still not sure how Otogi ended up sharing Sally with Trowa or how he got the broken nose!  
As for Malik, I'm thinking of including him in the story because reviewers have asked for him... but the pairing would not include him.  
Review or a giant ferret will come and eat you. Don't ask how, just review.  
xoxo 


	10. Love is not Enough

**Chapter 10-** Love is not enough

I feel melancholy today. Marik and I decided to blow off group therapy which is going to get us in big trouble, especially since the only excuse we gave was wanting to watch the grass grow.

Marik and I are sitting in front of the window, looking out. There's a storm around the compound, and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The sky is light and dark grey, with the occasional flash of lightening illuminating everything. It's like a beautiful horror story; the kind I never could appreciate before it all happened to me. I never appreciated the deep red of blood before then either, like a river of life bleeding slowly away from an individual until the dark swallows them whole. How many people are drowning right now, I wonder?

Marik gets up out of his seat and wanders, while I continue to stair at the droplets of water splattering the windows. Splash. Splash. Splash. Splash. Splash… over and over again, each droplet smashes against the window and falls apart… they slide down the window and the droplets reconverge and slide further, faster. I wonder if there's a lesson to be learned there… groups fall faster and hit the ground harder than the individual? But that can't be right… although certainly my company is… was royally fucked. I don't know what I'm thinking today.

Splash. Splash. Splash. I wonder what would happen if I took a flight one day and tried to walk on the clouds. Would I have a split second of ecstasy and a screaming fall? Would I smile as I plummeted to my death? And would I feel every bone in my body break as I hit the ground; feel my veins rupture and my brain leak out over the dirt? How much agony can one person take anyway?

-FLASH-

"And just like that Ryuji, another person died. Half way around the world, the people didn't know. They don't care, the same as you and your preventable deaths."

-FLASH-

I was breathing hard, staring as the droplets continued to hammer the plastic that they used here instead of glass. I heard the door open and Bakura and Seto come in, and saw the reflection of Bakura opening his mouth, before Seto shook his head with a significant look at the window.

Marik crept up behind me. "What are you thinking?" he whispered in my ear, before sliding his hands from my shoulders down my chest. I smiled, and believed, and let Marik read my mind if he would.

I was daydreaming about being trapped in a flooded house, swimming around in a room filled with water almost to the roof. The isolation and absurdity appealed to me and I almost wished it would one day come true.

"Curious. You like to swim?" Marik chuckled.

"Not as much as I like to drown." I answered softly, and Marik sat himself down on my lap.

"Fuck me." Marik grinned, running his tongue over my neck, teasing me.

"Ok." I answer, and our clothes practically fall off. Seto and Bakura are staring at us in shock, as we simply strip. Funny thing is, the door's not even shut and Marik's naked, back on my lap and kissing me like he's breathing me in. Seto is the one who remembers to shut the door, and Bakura winds himself around him purring.

"Seto I haven't seen live sex in sooo long." Bakura grins.

Marik laughs, and his mouth is around my nipple, my hands wrapping around his cock and pulling, tugging, teasing…

"You walked in on Seto and I last week!" Marik manages to choke out. I see Seto smile, Bakura's fingers winding themselves idly over his form.

"Hit me up, Bakura!" Marik grins darkly, and Bakura wanders over to my bag, grabs out a condom and some lube and chucks them at us. Luckily Marik catches; I reach for them and miss by miles. I never was fantastic at sports…  
Unfortunately, I haven't been paying very much attention to what Marik's been doing, instead absent mindedly stroking myself and letting my mind wander away.  
Thus it comes as a complete surprise when Marik suddenly sits himself down on me, and the pleasure is enough to make me scream. Bakura seems to be incredibly turned on by the scream, he goes straight for Seto and practically devours him.

Seto is incredibly emotionless having sex; Bakura is howling, whining, screaming, begging, pleading, dominating and submissive… it's like Bakura gives reactions for both of them while Seto just lies there and breathes.

"Is everything ok in there?" an orderly calls from the door.

"Everything is fine." Seto calls out, and it's a testament to his control that his voice sounds perfectly normal. Marik bites my neck and I shudder a little at the pain. I like pain now… it's so… rewarding. Marik is bouncing up and down on my cock, giggling like a lunatic, and it's all I can do to hold on for the ride, as my stomach clenches and heat pours through me. Bakura is holding Seto's hands above his head as Seto lies back and stares at him, a stare so undisguisedly piercing that it makes me shiver. My hands trace lines over Marik's stomach as he pumps his hand up and down his cock, and wander up to pinch his nipples as he arches his back in a not so silent scream. Marik clenches around me and I can't help but cry out as I feel his hot cum sliding down my leg. Seto goes rigid and Bakura howls in delight, and even though the uplifting delight of all my nerves, I can't help but think we must all look like base animals now.

The pleasure I got from it was only physical.


	11. Just Like You Imagined

**Me, Interrupted**  
_by Nara Occult_

**Summary: **When Otogi's life becomes a downward spiral, he's trapped in an Asylum because he can't shake the guilt of being able to breathe. Imagine his misfortune when he finds Marik, Bakura and Seto inside... O x B x M x S. YUGIOH x GUNDAM WING  
**Disclaimers: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters. I just turned them emo for my own nefarious purposes.

**Chapter 11: Just Like You Imagined**

It's a beautiful day today. The sun is shining, not hot, just warmly, as if encouraging us, beckoning for us to stretch and renew our clipped wings. I'm sitting on the grass with Seto beside me, musing on life.

"Do you ever wonder what happened to us, Otogi?" Seto asks with a little shiver.

"No," I reply quietly. I don't like to wonder, I don't like to think, I don't like to remember.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this you know. We were supposed to be free, and happy." Seto whines.

I say nothing.

"I don't know when it started… probably with Gozaburo's abuse. He used to beat me severely, starve me at times and lock me away. They tell me I'm trying to gain control through starving myself as a result of him. I wish I could tell them it can't be him, he's dead and I killed him myself." Seto smiles, and it's a killer's smile.

"You killed him?" I whisper, remembering _his_ laugh.

"He went through that window with the most surprised look on his face, before it turned into a mixture of satisfaction and betrayal. The glass fractured and caught the light, shining around him like some kind of demented Halo, and I saw his knowledge of his death in his eyes." Seto mused distantly.

"He never screamed, not at first, not during the fall, not when… He never screamed." Seto started playing with the glass around him.

"He was betrayed, but satisfied in the end," Seto said, with an air of horror to his tone.

"Why?" I whisper.

"Because I turned out just like he wanted," Seto answers, and we fall silent for a while.

Presently he turns to me again.

"I think Marik can get out of here, Bakura, I'm not so sure about. Marik has Malik to ground him, but I don't think Bakura and Ryou are as close. I think Bakura feels that Ryou is doing much better without him, and that creates tension. I think if it weren't for the lack of alcohol, freedom and violence, Bakura would love it here." Seto muses, and I wonder what has gotten him so talkative today.

"You Otogi, you can get out too," Seto turns to me, and his stare is so intense, it's nearly frightening. I feel like I'm drowning in his cold blue eyes, and I'm totally lost when he presses his lips to mine in a hard but passionate kiss. His lips imprint themselves on my own, his tongue teasing them begging for entry, stroking my own tongue as his fingers dig into my shoulders, holding me in place.

Then he moves back.

"I like you, you know, Otogi…" He says, and his sentence seems disjointed for the mighty Seto Kaiba.

"I like you, and Marik, and Bakura…" Seto stares into the distance, and I thread my fingers through his, and he looks at me smiling.

"I can't stay here forever, not with Mokuba waiting for me, missing me. But sometimes I almost wish I could…" Seto says softly, and I smile. Then he turns to me, wistfulness gone, and a harsh demeanor in its place.

"I'm leaving Otogi; free to go as of next week," he informs me, and my happy little rose pink world crashes black.

"Find me, when you get out ok? Find me," Seto says quietly, before walking off, leaving me shell shocked and clutching the dirt on the ground in my fists as if it can stop him from leaving.

Suddenly I yelp, pulling one of my hands back as a drop of bright red blood wells from my fingertip. Cocking my head, I investigate, to find that someone has hidden a pair of scissors in the garden. Their stay outside has blunted them, they're hardly in peak condition, but the mesmerising little drop of blood is beckoning to me. Hiding them under my shirt, I take the scissors inside, and simply tell Seto I need some time to think.

"Private time," I say sternly, looking towards Marik and Bakura.

"Very well," Seto simply says, and I think he will console them just fine.

I sit down in the horrible white bathroom and pull the scissors out, taking off my shirt. I wad my shirt into a ball and stuff it into my mouth, so no sound comes out. Then I take the scissors and look at them. They're disgusting, dirty and rusty from their burial outside.

Then I open them and I see the light reflected in them, silver and cold. Taking a deep breath, I make sure the shirt is between my teeth and not my tongue, as I press downwards. It hurts; it hurts and I continue to press down and it hurts more but I can't stop. Quickly and viciously, I slice the vein, and it stings and blood pours out. Before I can't work it anymore, I do the other arm, awkwardly, because I think I cut through some of the tendons in my arm. I can't move my fingers anymore.

The two long deep cuts bleed forth, and I call through the door, "Hey guys, I love you but I'm going to try some meditation so don't talk to me, ok?"

"Love you too!" Marik calls back happily.

"Rape you!" Bakura laughs.

"Ok," Seto agrees.

I stand quickly, steadying myself against the dizzy onset and take a look out of the window.

The grounds are ringed by an electric fence, the gate security locked. Officers let everyone in and out, and there are crazy people outside surrounded by white lab coats.

Then I look past it and the sun is shining, the grass rolls over the hills in a film of green, the sky is blue and the air is clean.

It's a perfect day to die.


	12. The Day the World Went Away

**Me Interrupted**

**The Day the World Went Away**

It was an average day at work; somewhat hectic…I didn't even notice him enter.

"EVERYONE ON YOUR KNEES! HANDS IN THE AIR!" He screamed, waving a gun around like a psychopath.

"What's going on?!" Grace cried in horror as some tried to flee.

**BANG**

He shot her; gods, he killed her! People were screaming in terror as chaos descended.

"SILENCE!" He ordered, firing a round into the roof, shooting anyone who continued screaming.

Considering, he looked around at us all, crouched and frozen. He pointed to a new, young girl, Ceres.

"You… yes you, get up." Shaking, she did.

"Please… don't kill me…" Tears rolled silently down her face. He grinned sadistically, making his face stretch into a hideous mockery of a smile.

"You are the lucky one. You are going to inform everyone about what's going on, because I don't want any interruptions. Tell them if they said _anyone_, _anywhere_ near, I'll shoot the hostages one by one until they leave." I felt a chill as I sized him up as I had many a businessman. He wasn't bluffing.

We could hear the panic start on the street below as Ceres hysterically ran out. Then, the madman took me by surprise as he turned to me.

"Remember me, Ryuji?" I was shocked and tried to remember how I'd met him, where I'd seen him. He laughed bitterly.

"Alan Riché, Human Rights activist." He mocked, and I suddenly remembered.

"You came to me for funding; I gave you what I could." I remembered out loud, frantically trying to think of something that would calm him down.

"You… you gave me the equivalent of $5! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Ryuji Otogi, benevolent _hypocrite_." Alan snarled. My staff shrank back and I paused, uncertain of what to do and mindful of not wanting to make things worse.

"How much money do you have Ryuji?" Alan asked. The gun was waving about, pointing from Leslie, my secretary who argued with me over the benefits of coffee versus tea to John, my Vice President who had his children, Mika and Mikaela, the twins who called me "Uncle 'Togi"

"$..." I answered. The gun hovered in front of Paul, now 60, who'd been an advisor of mine when I was just founding the company, one of the only adults to believe in my dream.

"And how much did you give to World Support?" It was such a sinister piece of black metal, the gun. Jessica recoiled as the gun was pointed at her. She'd been so brave, surviving an abusive husband who'd raped her, raising her child without a father.

"$..." I answered with a sinking heart. When he put it like that, it sounded positively pitiful.

"That doesn't sound like much, does it?" Alan asked my employees conversationally. None of them dared reply.

"DOES IT?" he insisted, waving the gun.

"No…" came the quiet, fearful replies.

"Please, Mr. Riché, let them go." I begged desperately.

"Call me Alan, Ryuji, we'll be spending some time together. And no, I won't let them go." Alan said congenially.

"You have me at your leisure, Alan." I pointed out.

"How many times did I ask you for funding Otogi? How many times did you sit in your pristine, white-fucking-tower and decline?" Alan was angry again now.

"Look it's not that simple-" I began, thinking of reserve capital needed. If I'd given him the money and something happened, not only I would have been destitute. It was my responsibility to make sure that if I ever screwed up, my employees would never suffer because of it, my-

"Not that simple? How many people are dying now, because you wouldn't help me? HOW MANY?!" He screamed.

"I don't know." I dared not push him.

"I do. Do you like seeing people suffer? Would you like your employee to suffer?!" The gun swung around to Paul.

"Don't do this…" I begged, reaching out my hands…

"Too late."

**BANG**

With a half sob, I recoiled in disbelief. Just like that, Paul was dead.

"Every minute people die because pretty rich boys like you hoard your money." Alan stated coldly.  
"Look Ryuji, look at your secretary. She hasn't done anything wrong. She wishes she'd never even heard of you, let alone worked for you. She wishes she hadn't come in today." He continued. No, not her.

"… please… I'll give you anything you want… don't hurt anyone else… all my money-" I offered.

"You think money is enough now? It's too late. They're dead. They're all DEAD!" He screamed.

**BANG**

"AHHHHHH! Oh god it HURTS! AHHHHHHHHHH….". She wasn't dead, thank god, but blood was pouring out of the wound, pooling on the carpet.

"You see Ryuji, people like you only care about themselves. They want money, they want sex, they want to stay young forever." Alan continued to lecture me.

"I'm not like that!" I protested in horror.

"Aren't you? I see money. I see your whores hanging off you at every public appearance. You're still young. You are a shadow of a person, shallow, evil. You care only about yourself." Alan judged. I couldn't change his mind.

"Don't you see? Every minute people die because pretty rich boys like you hoard your money. People like this, innocent people, die."

"So no, I'm going to kill your co-workers; ill them in front of you and watch the ones you love die. Isn't the irony just to _die_ for?" Alan grinned darkly, Jessica sobbing quietly in the background.

"So who are we going to start with?" Alan's eyes roamed over my employees, stopping on Shelly.

"Stand up." Shelly was relatively new, but a fantastically generous person. She'd organised a cake and card for Paul's 60th, and we'd lit a candle and all sung "Happy Birthday".

"Don't kill her!" John pleaded.

"Alan, please, you of all people know injustice!" I tried once more, knowing already that it was futile.

"And now you will too." He uttered quietly, Shelly shaking and sobbing.

**BANG**

The white wall was splashed with red and a sickly grey. Leslie screamed uncontrollably. He'd blown half of Shelly's head off. Jason threw up.

"And just like that Ryuji, another person died. Half way around the world, the people didn't know. They don't care, the same as you and your preventable deaths." Alan laughed coldly.

RING RING!

Alan froze, before glaring at the phone.

"That will be the police Ryuji. Pick up the phone." Alan smiled, and the smile horrified me. Slowly I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"This is the Police. We're here to negotiate the hostage situation. Can you tell me how many people are injured?" Came the calm reply. I looked to Alan for instructions, hoping that the longer I could stay on the phone, the longer I could keep the remaining people alive.

"Tell them this is your punishment, that I'm not interested in negotiation. Then hang up." Alan instructed and my heart sank. The gun was pointed at Jessica.

"This is my punishment. Alan doesn't want to negotiate." I hung up the phone slowly, ignoring the office's attempts to keep me on the phone.

RING RING!

The gun swung around again.

**BANG!**

Just like that, without any warning Leslie was dead and more blood decorated the macabre horror scene my building had become. An awful coppery smell hung heavily in the air as Jessica screamed and Alan laughed like a madman, seeming more and more unhinged as time wore on.

"What do you think Ryuji, seeing as you've probably killed as many people as me. At least the deaths of your employees were merciful. No children watching as their families died of starvation and disease, no entire villages that never wake the next morning." Alan looked at my employees, bending down to stroke Jessica's face, who was crying silently.

"Look at these tears… so selfish. Would you cry for the child that goes hungry?" Alan looked spitefully at Jessica.

"I support-" Jessica began shakily. I knew she sponsored 3 children. I also knew Alan would not accept it as enough.

"Shut up!" Alan sneered harshly, slapping her with his free hand, before spinning, standing and walking away. The gun moved again, towards Jessica. John stepped in front of her, shielding her.

"No!" I yelled, rushing for Alan.

**BANG**

John and Jessica dropped to the ground together, as if in slow motion, their bodies sinking to the floor in an awful parody of grace. The gun swung towards me, and I finally read the hate in Alan's eyes and saw my death. I was going to fast to even try and avoid the bullet.

**BANG!**

But it was Alan whose eyes widened, who froze and dropped his gun in disbelief. It was Alan who had blood blossoming like some obscene flower from the bullet wound on his chest, Alan who staggered towards me and dragged us both down into the blood and gore soaking the grey carpet. I dimly registered the police rushing in, their declarations that Paul and Jessica were alive…

Alan was lying on top of me, blood seeping out between his lips as he grinned like a skeleton.

"It was… your…fault, Ryuji." Alan laughed, and his body spasmed. I felt the blood soaking into my hair as Alan's last words reached me, before the maniacal light finally left his eyes.

"Welcome to Hell."  
_  
The End_


End file.
